you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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