he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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