two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
