He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
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