i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Actions speak louder than pants.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
