Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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