Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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