he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
