He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
