How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
