Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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