dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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