elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
