i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
