shes about as inviting as chlamydia
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Randomize