my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
