Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
