Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
