Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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