Walk of Shame. In a state park.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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