There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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