Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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