Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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