Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
