Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
i think i just naturally attract stoners
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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