he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
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sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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