i love accidental penises.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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