I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
