if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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