Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
