I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
