So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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