I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
