I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm eating all of the evidence.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
