I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
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