You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
