You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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