Yo dont text me then not text me
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
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I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
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The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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