His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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