sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize