Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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