Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
you would pick up someone in the library
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
