her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize