He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
