New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
