she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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