I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize