You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
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