Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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