just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Someone came in the potted fern
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
