Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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