i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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