you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm just crazy horny about you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
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