I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
