I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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