i permit you to call me
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.