There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
what day is it and did you see me today?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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