Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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