Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
