He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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